The rain spills down like bullets on dented shingles. I’m not handsome. I’m not eloquent. I don’t even like myself. After years of telling myself I’m not good enough That I’m not special, that I have nothing to offer. You’ve helped me see through this lie.
We tell ourselves that no one is special, to feel better about ourselves. But when I look at you, you shatter that very notion. You are special. You are beautiful. And you’ve stolen me.
When I look at you, I sense something. I feel this need, this compulsion to speak. My heart is ready to explode, and day after day I put the cap back on my heart valves. Using these same lies out of fear.
I’m driving myself to illness. Frankly, I don’t know how I managed to live this long. You get so used to dispair and with it, hopelessness. I’ve been hurt too many times.
I know I have baggage, I know I have problems. You could say I’m ugly, but you don’t make me feel that way. Actually, you make me feel more alive than I have in years. Every word of yours empowers me. As does every touch, and every moment.
On the receiving end of this disconnect, Phones fail, words fail, but most importantly, I fail. I can never tell you what I really feel, you’d reject me like anyone else would. And yet, you’re trapped in my mind.
In a world of eight billion, I only see you. And I wonder if you even notice me. There are better people out there They’re right in front of you.
I wonder about what I really should do with myself. The years keep flying by, and I haven’t the faintest clue. Another year passes, opportunities missed. What I’d give for a single day to make up for everything.
When you’re here, the world seems so much more beautiful Nothing hurts me, nothing harms me. You’re an amulet inside of me. Dispelling the self-hatred and depression. You could save me.
We met a few times a few years ago. There were a few trips around the city that happened while we were together.
So I’ve been banging my head against the wall trying to remember. Most of my memories from a few years ago were all but obliterated. There are a lot of people that I met a few years ago, and went on a few trips around the city. Way to keep a guy guessing.